<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>A Solo Mission by HalfwayThrough</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23157694">A Solo Mission</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HalfwayThrough/pseuds/HalfwayThrough'>HalfwayThrough</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alderaan, F/M, Padawan Rey, Senator Ben Solo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 11:49:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,301</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23157694</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HalfwayThrough/pseuds/HalfwayThrough</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Young Padawan Rey is assigned to protect Senator Ben Solo from Alderaan, a known Jedi critic. While excited for her first mission on her own, without the influence of Master Luke close by she is soon confronted with wants and desires she didn't know she wanted.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>132</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Reylo Charity Anthology: Volume 2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Solo Mission</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Her hands jerked nervously but she hid them in the large sleeves of her robes and hoped Master Luke couldn’t feel her discomfort. Or at least wouldn’t comment on it. </p>
<p>Coruscant, for all the time she’d spent there, still made her feel anxious. She’d been over the moon when she’d been taken under Luke’s wing and sent out across the galaxy. However, they always pulled her back to the enormous towers and bustling city that she never did understand the rhythm of. However, it was not just the planet that made her nervous today, no there was plenty to worry about other than the too shiny too big world she had to navigate. </p>
<p>Today would be the start of her very first solo endeavor. She had been at Master Luke’s side for a few years now, his constant shadow. Now, she’d be able to prove herself a capable Jedi in her own right. It was an important assignment, a senator well known throughout the galaxy for opposing war and promoting unity had received more than a few death threats in the last two weeks. </p>
<p>“Your greatest concern will be his safety,” Master Luke had said, during their short briefing. He seemed odd during the whole meeting. His face never betrayed it, but she could feel it in the Force. She had been around him long enough to know when Luke’s mind began to wander from the present. </p>
<p>“Who is it, Master?” she asked. She wondered which senator it would be. She had met a few at events and while accompanying Master Luke. Senator Tico from the Otomok system had been a favorite, maybe because of their closeness in age or how the woman, even in her senate finery, wanted to inspect their ship admiring the work Rey had done on it. She would quite enjoy accompanying Senator Tico anywhere, but she’d never admit that much to Luke. She wasn’t supposed to care very strongly for the senator in the first place and she was happy that Rose was not the one receiving death threats. </p>
<p>Luke’s emotion seemed to come to a peak briefly, like a short lived breeze of frustration blowing over her. Luke at his angriest was a drop in the pond of Rey’s emotion, but she could still feel it clear as day. </p>
<p>“Senator Organa from Alderaan,” he said carefully. She felt her own wave of emotion well up inside of her. She forced it down but could not control how it simmered inside of her. Luke felt it. “I know.” </p>
<p>Ben Organa of Alderaan was well known in Jedi circles. He was a peacemaker. One of the many senators that were called on to work out squabbles between systems and work for a more unified galaxy, he was also the voice of another movement that was hard to swallow. </p>
<p>Anti-Jedi.</p>
<p>Rey had once watched a speech he’d made with some other Padawans. He was tall and pale and wore fine blue robes. He preached about the dangers of giving the Jedi too much power and that the people of the galaxy should not trust in “child soldiers” to protect them if something goes wrong. Everyone found it ridiculous, but it did not stop the senators being persuaded to his side of thinking. They were a sect now, and any new senator stepping foot on Coruscant found themselves answering the important question—“do you support the Jedi?” </p>
<p>And yet here she was, Rey a Padawan, standing in a lift leading up to Senator Ben Organa’s rooms. It was ironic in a way. He did not want to rely on the Jedi’s power, and now was forced to ask their help. Luke did not seem to find any of it amusing. He stood quiet beside her, his mind as calm as ever. She was afraid her nerves were palpable in the force. </p>
<p>The lift drifted to a stop and the doors slid open. The sleek and comfortable quarters of a senator waited for them. Large windows showed off cruisers in the distant and spires reaching up towards the sky. However, there was no senator waiting for them. Rey looked to her master. He had been very clear during their briefing that he was not going to hold her hand on this mission, merely see her off. He pressed his lips into a firm line and stepped into the apartment, apparently willing to wait for the senator to arrive. Everything was built on a curve: the frames, the couch, the tables, even the room itself. Not a single true corner in the place. She went to one of the couches, settling into the plush cushions. </p>
<p>“Rey.” </p>
<p>She turned. Luke was standing by the window, his hands clasped behind his back. He stood as if trying to minimize how much he touched. As if by will alone he could somehow no longer be in the room. </p>
<p>“Master?” </p>
<p>“Be careful.” He was dead serious. Not a playful jab at the beginning of her first mission but a warning—a true warning. They had gone over all the pitfalls of protecting a political figure the day before. To keep watch, to feel for hatred in the Force; for that is what a would-be assassin would feel. Yet, he never once seemed worried about her own safety. She took it as a compliment that she was skilled enough that she wasn’t going to cut her own head off with her sabre. Yet now he was asking her, no begging her, to be careful. From what? From assassins?</p>
<p>Or from the senator? </p>
<p>She was about the inquire further when the elevator door opened and Senator Organa of Alderaan stepped in. Rey jumped to her feet to greet him and found him far taller than any holo could have prepared her for. She only came up to his chest, and above that was a bold, pale face and a carefully groomed head of black curls. He looked different up close and she noticed all the details a static filled blue holo could not capture. He had moles sprinkled across his face, his lips a rather delicate pink color. He was just as wide as the holo had showed, maybe more so. His broad frame was dressed in robes of such a dark blue they were nearly black. Small silver stars dotted his vest and shiny black boots pressed into the crimson carpet as he greeted them. </p>
<p>“Master Luke,” he said coldly. Rey felt a shiver up her spine. </p>
<p>“Senator,” Luke said with a nod of his head before extending an arm to Rey. “My Padawan, Rey of Jakku.” </p>
<p>Ben gave her a polite nod that she returned.   </p>
<p>“I’d like to reiterate again, that while it is generous of the Council to provide me with an escort, I do not require one,” the Senator said, crossing the room to a door on the opposite wall of the lift. </p>
<p>“It is at the <i>Senate’s</i> request that we’ve come,” Luke said. Ben made a face that Rey wasn’t sure how to read. It didn’t seem like surprise, but perhaps disdain? </p>
<p>“And I am the Senate’s humble servant,” the Senator said, briefly disappearing into the side room. Luke rolled his shoulders, his jaw tight. Rey dipped into the Force, concentrating on her Master but found him shut off from her. She understood, she had no right to be privy to his frustrations. However, as she was hanging on to the thin thread connecting her to her master, she felt something else. Another thread pulling at her chest towards the other side of the room. She started to follow it when Luke cleared his throat. </p>
<p>Her eyes snapped open and she peered at her mentor. He was giving her a stern look as if to say <i>watch yourself.</i></p>
<p>She folded her hands behind her back and pushed her curiosity away. The Senator reappeared from the room with a bag in hand. He moved over to the lift and pressed a button to descend to the flight deck. </p>
<p>Rey realized that now her mission began. Once the doors opened Master Luke would stay behind and she would be thrust into the role of a lone Padawan. She turned to Luke and he nodded stiffly. It was time. </p>
<p>She moved to the lift, standing behind the Senator. He was her mission now and hers alone. </p>
<p>
  <i>Calm thoughts, Rey, calm thoughts.</i>
</p>
<p>The doors slid open and the Senator stepped aside, motioning for her to go ahead of him. She paused, not expecting the gesture, but moved quickly. As Ben followed her, she looked through the gap at her Master and felt a pang of loneliness hit her. She’d been by his side for years and now she was alone. </p>
<p>No, no Master Luke would not want her to feel this kind of attachment to him. It would do her no good. </p>
<p>The doors slid closed and her mission begun. Her mission of protecting the most vocal anti-Jedi politician in the galaxy. Wonderful. </p>
<p>Rey stood straight as a rod; her eyes trained on the chrome doors in front of her. She had been so focused on Luke’s unusually tense mood that she had taken the time to think ahead. To think of all the time she’d have to spend with someone who despised her. </p>
<p>Calm thoughts. </p>
<p>“Have you been to Alderaan, Rey of Jakku?” he asked. Rey hesitated, not expecting to be addressed so soon. Or really at all. </p>
<p>“I have not,” she said, her fingers fidgeting under the cover of her sleeves. “And just Rey is fine.” </p>
<p>“It’s called ‘the planet of beauty’ so it’ll be quite the vacation I imagine,” he said. </p>
<p>“I’m not going on vacation, Senator,” Rey said, clarifying her intentions. </p>
<p>“Of course not,” he said, more under his breath to her. She felt the sting in his tone but ignored it. Luke would be proud of her. There was a time when such a comment would have ended with an altercation. The Senator should be thankful as well. There were younglings at the Jedi temple, less restrained with their anger, who would like a chance to be alone with Senator Jedi Killer. </p>
<p>The nickname was misleading. As far as they knew Senator Organa had never killed a Jedi, but there was talk that was his ultimate goal. To end the Jedi order and rid the galaxy of everyone who had taken the vow. </p>
<p>She swallowed hard, her lightsaber heavy on her belt. </p>
<p>The door opened and the breeze of the flight deck hit her right in the face. It pulled at her robes as she followed the Senator out in the aisle between rows and rows of ships from every reach of the galaxy. This section was mainly compact cruisers for the senators but there were so many differences between each planet’s style. Rey found herself distracted by them, admiring the shiny exterior of a ship from Naboo and the very functional Otomok cruiser Senator Tico had let her board and examine. While it didn’t look like much from the outside, the interior was amazing and ran smoother than any ship in the hanger. </p>
<p>They stopped in front of Organa’s cruiser. It was a large cruiser closer to Tico’s ship than the more stylized version. She could see a large hanger in the back to hold a fighter and she knew the specs well enough to know Alderaan tended on the side of caution and built fast ships to push diplomats past possible enemies. </p>
<p>“This is the Tantive IV,” Ben said, motioning to it. Its captain was stepping down a ramp waving to the pair. </p>
<p>“A CR–70,” Rey said mumbling under her breath and examining the different specs. It was smaller and less armed than its counterpart the CR–90, both built in Corellia as Alderaan wasn’t exactly known for building ships but it had nonetheless become part of Alderaan’s culture. </p>
<p>“Uh, yes,” Ben said, noticing her interest. Rey suddenly realized she had spoken aloud and kicked herself. “Are you interested in ships?” </p>
<p>She thought back on the sand filled fields, of shoving her hand into a speederbike searching for a sand rat that had wormed its way into the engine. </p>
<p>“Uh, yeah you could say that,” she said, pulling her gaze away from the ship.</p>
<p>“Senator,” the captain said, jogging up to them. She was a brunette woman with soft brown eyes and grease smeared on her cheek. </p>
<p>“Raymes, good to see you. This is my watchful Jedi guardian, Rey of Jakku,” Ben said, motioning to Rey. She noted the sarcasm in his voice but let it go. It would do her no good to hold hostility towards her charge. </p>
<p>“Good to meet you, Rey,” the captain said, extending her hand. Rey shook her hand, it was warm and calloused. It made her feel at home. “Annie Raymes.” </p>
<p>“Nice to meet you, Captain,” Rey said. In truth, she would love to spend the trip with the captain asking her more about their specific cruiser. She assumed there were some modifications made to it for it to be Senator Organa’s personal cruiser but she was going to have to save those for another time.</p>
<p>“We’ll be leaving as soon as you’re aboard,” the Captain said before nodding and returning to her ship. Rey followed Ben up the ramp and down a crowded corridor towards the personal quarters. He pushed open a door leading to a personal room and stepped inside of it. She began to follow him when he whipped around and closed the door in her face. </p>
<p>Rey grit her molars. If she was going to watch the Senator she needed to be close, even if he was on the other side of a door. She stood beside the door, leaning against the transparasteel wall. </p>
<p>This was going to be a long mission.</p><hr/>
<p>The journey to Alderaan was quiet and quick. Ben appeared out of his room a few times and every time he seemed to make a pointed effort to ignore her. Rey tried not to hold it against him, she was sure any senator would have the same opinion. Maybe not Senator Tico, but she was not with Tico now. She was with Organa, and Organa saw no reason for her to exist. </p>
<p>When the cruiser landed, Rey was thankful to get fresh air in her lungs after hours of recycled oxygen. The spaceport was a wash of white stone and sky-blue tiles, a far cry from the cramped hangers of Coruscant or dusty landing zones of Jakku.</p>
<p>In fact, everything in Alderaan seemed to blue or white. Smooth white stone or soft blue robes. Blink indigo lights or a dusty grey plastic. Rey felt like she stuck out with her light brown tunic and dark brown vest and boots. She clashed against the color coding of the entire planet—a theme she didn’t realize they had. </p>
<p>She followed close behind Ben, an eye on everyone nearby. When they stepped out of the hanger Rey gasped, her mission temporarily forgotten. </p>
<p>The planet of beauty was an accurate title. Everything about Alderaan was gorgeous. Deep blue lakes of still water, towering peaks topped with clean white snow. And the palace stood among the peaks, joining them instead of disrupting them. It was a shining monument to Alderaan and the royal family and it looked like a painting. Like history. Not something Rey would eventually be walking around in. </p>
<p>“It has that effect on people,” the Senator said with a playful smile before leading the way down the path towards the palace. </p>
<p>For the first time she wondered how long she would be staying here. If the threats continued, then her mission would be extended. What would she do if it went for years? Would she enjoy the beauty of Alderaan if she ended up living on it for years? She’d be constantly bouncing back and forth from here to Coruscant. The anti-Jedi advocate and his silent Jedi watcher. </p>
<p>She disliked the idea. She decided if Ben ever had to go to the senate to speak against the Jedi that she would ask someone else to attend with him. Hopefully that would not be seen as too emotional, but she refused to be insulted in front of the entire galaxy.</p>
<p>She held her tongue for a lot of things, but she wasn’t sure she could for that. </p>
<p>They reached the palace as the sun began to dip below the horizon. Orange and pink painted across the sky behind shadowed mountains. The buildings were even more beautiful up close. They walked up a path with a mosaic of stones laid into the ground and through the entry hall. Rey followed him as he ventured alone up the stairs to the more private parts of the structure. </p>
<p>“Are you going to say anything?” he asked over his shoulder. “Or are you going to be my silent shadow the whole time?” </p>
<p>“I’m not trained in conversation, Senator,” she said. He chuckled. </p>
<p>They stopped in front of an ornate door with a high arching frame. Ben went in, leaving the door open. Rey stood in the doorway, unsure if it was proper to follow.  </p>
<p>“This,” he said, throwing an arm out to present the room, “is the salon.” </p>
<p>It was an antechamber, with filled bookcases and low-lying couches. A fireplace was positioned between two narrower doors with an intricately carved mantle above it. A large table towards the center had a few chairs around it for meetings. A small flower sat in the middle its petals just beginning to unfurl.  </p>
<p>He moved to a side door and threw it open. </p>
<p>“This is my room,” he said, leaning against the frame. Rey moved forward, brushing past the Senator to inspect the space. It was a rather simple room, not something she was expecting for the Crown Prince of Alderaan. It had a large bed with plush bedding, a small writing desk with an assortment of pens and parchment on it and a dark wood wardrobe in the corner. Other than that, there wasn’t much to it, but for the balcony on the opposite wall. Rey went for it, wiggling the handles and pulling them open. It wasn’t the sturdiest material and could be kicked in easy, especially with most of the door being made of stained glass. She stepped out onto the balcony and looked over the marble railing. They were in one of the highest spires in the palace, with the lake below looking more like a pond from this distance. A breeze blew forward, pulling at Rey’s clothes. </p>
<p>She stepped back inside, quickly closing the balcony doors. Ben sat at the foot of his bed; his outer robes discarded. Rey could better see the detailing on his vest now and in the warm glow of sunset they seemed to sparkle against the fabric. </p>
<p>“Not like Jakku is it?” he joked. Rey brushed it off. Jakku was a garbage planet feeding off leftovers from others. Everyone knew that. </p>
<p>“Who is the head of security for the palace? I want to make sure that no ships come even close to the palace, especially the balcony,” she said. </p>
<p>“What? Are you afraid a lover will sneak into my rooms?” </p>
<p>She blinked. She wasn’t expecting another joke, much less one so… suggestive. She knew what a lover was, of course, but tried not to give it much thought. It was not a role she ever intended to play. Attachments, including those of a sexual nature, were strictly against Jedi code. Ben knew this, he knew the code as good as any Jedi. He was toying with her. </p>
<p>This knowledge did not keep the blush from her cheeks. </p>
<p>“You can send me security personnel later,” she said, changing the subject. “I’d like to see my own rooms, if you don’t mind.” </p>
<p>“Not at all,” Ben said with a smile before standing up and leading her out of his room. She started for the main door only for Ben to turn and stand by the other door in the salon. </p>
<p>Rey paused, her hand on the door to the hallway. </p>
<p>“My instructions were to keep you as close as possible,” he said, clear that he didn’t care for the arrangement either. He pushed the door open with one finger, letting the hinge squeal as it went. </p>
<p>Rey reluctantly crossed to it, looking into her personal area. It was much like Ben’s. Simple. A bed, a wardrobe, a desk. It even had a balcony like the Prince’s room. It felt odd to have two rooms mirrored like this, especially for the Prince of all people. </p>
<p>“Are these your usual chambers?” Rey asked, motioning to the salon and his room.</p>
<p>“Yes.” </p>
<p>“Then why is this room here?” she asked. </p>
<p>“Oh, this room is for my consort,” he said. Rey suddenly realized how close she was standing to him and took the smallest step away. </p>
<p>“Thank you for the… clarification,” she said stiffly. </p>
<p>“No problem, see you at supper.” Ben gave her a smile before bowing out of the room. Even as he retreated to his own room she could still feel the beat of his heart in the Force.</p><hr/>
<p>Dinner for the last few years involved whatever she and Master Luke could get their hands on. That or the usual food offered at the Jedi Temple when they were there. Nothing prepared her for the ceremony of a meal at the Royal Palace. There was an entire room set aside for it with floor to ceiling windows overlooking the peaks with gauzy white curtains hanging across them. She sat at the table, a large spread of dishes in front of her. An attendant filled a crystal glass with a deep green colored liquid and set it beside her plate. She remembered from her studies that one of Alderaan’s largest exports was wine, specifically emerald wine which is what they must be offering her now. She took a careful sip, not wanting to drink too much. She would be of no use to anyone intoxicated.</p>
<p>“Rey,” the Queen Leia at the head of the table said. She was a beautiful woman with a commanding presence. She wore a simple blue gown, her grey hair wound up in braids on the back of her head, and her fingers adorned with plain silver rings. “I want to welcome you to our planet and our home.” </p>
<p>“It is my honor to serve the galaxy and the royal house of Alderaan,” Rey said trying her best to give a kind smile. She wasn’t in the habit of meeting with queens and especially not living under their roof, so this was all new territory for her. </p>
<p>“I hope you have a break every now and then, there are a lot of people out to kill my son,” Leia Organa said dryly, taking a sip of wine. Ben, sitting across from Rey, broke into a smile. </p>
<p>“I plan on getting my money’s worth of a Jedi’s time,” Ben said playfully, taking a bite of roasted meat. </p>
<p>“You don’t pay for a Jedi,” Rey said, dead serious. Leia and Ben gave each other look. Ben snickered but tried to hide it behind his hand. </p>
<p>“Of course not, my dear,” Leia said, but it did not at all sound sincere. “Ben tells me you’re from Jakku?”</p>
<p>These two had a strange way of communicating; a sarcasm that Rey was not trained in. She was thankful then that the conversation turned to something she could understand even if it wasn’t her favorite topic to discuss. </p>
<p>“Yes,” she said simply, pressing a forkful of green vegetables into her mouth. </p>
<p>“A… humble planet?” Leia suggested. Rey swallowed hard, her throat feeling gritty. </p>
<p>“Yes,” Rey said. </p>
<p>“We are glad to have you with us, so ignore anything Ben says,” Leia said. Rey gave her a smile. The Queen was trying to be kind to her, and she appreciated the gesture. </p>
<p>“Do you think I’ll insult our guest?” Ben asked, shooting his mother a look. </p>
<p>“I think you probably already have,” she said with a knowing look. </p>
<p>Rey drained her wine and let the attendant fill it up.</p><hr/>
<p>Rey was relieved when she was finally able to retreat to her own room. She was close enough to her charge that she wasn’t worried about his safety, and it felt amazing to have a moment to herself. She opened the wardrobe, hanging her robes inside of it and inspecting herself in the mirror set inside the door. </p>
<p>She looked like a Jedi, but she was simply a padawan. The thin braid hanging over her right shoulder made it quite clear she was nowhere near a master. She reached up, pulling her hair from the three buns at the back of her head, combing out the tangles with her fingers. With her hair down, the braid was hidden and she could, for a moment, not think about all of her shortcomings. She slid out of her robes and climbed into the bed in her chest wrappings and loose-fitting pants. It was a very comfortable bed, befitting royalty. She hadn’t slept in anything that nice in her entire life. It made the barracks at the Jedi temple look shabby in comparison. </p>
<p>Rey pulled the blankets up over her head and enjoyed the muffled darkness of her haven. At least she’d get these small comforts for as long as her mission allowed. </p>
<p>It was well into the night when she was startled awake. Rey threw off her blankets and jumped out of bed, grabbing her sabre from by her bed. It was Ben, she could feel his pain and fear radiating from the next room. She ran into the salon and pulled at his door, but it was locked. She knocked and there was no answer, only another wave of panic.</p>
<p>There was no other thought in her mind—only that she had to get to Ben Organa. </p>
<p>Rey ignited her lightsabre, the calm blue color clashing with her nerves. Without any regard for Alderaanian architecture she slammed the blade through the lock melting the metal mechanism as well as the wood surrounding it. She kicked open the broken door and burst into the room, sabre ready to take down an attacker. </p>
<p>Only there wasn’t one. </p>
<p>Senator Organa was alone, his eyes still closed, tossing and turning in his bed. She deactivated her weapon, crossing to his bedside where his fear still reached out to her.</p>
<p>“Senator?” she said softly. His face was contorted in fear, his body contorting as if in pain. She pressed a hand to his shoulder and his eyes snapped open. He shot up, looking around the room before landing his gaze on her, his hand clasping the one she had pressed against his skin. “You were having a bad dream.” </p>
<p>He relaxed slightly, shaking the sleep from his mind. </p>
<p>“Sorry to disturb you,” he said, his voice hoarse. “I don’t usually yell in my sleep.” </p>
<p>“You didn’t yell,” Rey said. “You called out in the Force.” </p>
<p>He looked up at her. She could barely make his face out in the dim starlight, but he looked startled or possibly confused. She decided to elaborate. </p>
<p>“I felt strong feelings of terror and pain,” Rey said. “I thought you were in trouble.” </p>
<p>She heard him take a slow, long inhale of breath and hold it before letting it out in a rush.</p>
<p>“How did you get in?” he asked, before seeing the mangled excuse for a door. “I’ll keep my door unlocked.”  </p>
<p>“I doubt it will lock in its current state,” Rey said. He gave her a smile before rising out of bed. Ben grabbed a robe from the back of a chair and moved to his door, examining her handiwork. He paused and looked back to her. “I won’t be able to sleep anytime soon, would you like some caf?” </p>
<p>“Sure,” Rey said, moving to follow him into the salon. He turned on a few lamps with a warm glow. While a lot of Alderaan was styled in cold hard stone, they appreciated a comfortable interior. Thick rugs and plush couches. He was tapping on a datapad; she remembered being told the attendants and servants that worked in the palace would bring her anything she needed if she went through the datapad. In truth, Rey didn’t plan on every asking for anything unless completely necessary. It seemed odd to her to request something when she could get it herself. He tossed the datapad aside, pulling his black robe on over his shoulders. He left it open, the pale skin of his throat and chest visible. It was with a physical jerk that Rey realized how she was dressed. She crossed her arms over her chest and moved to her door. </p>
<p>“Change your mind?” Ben asked, settling across the couch. </p>
<p>“No, I’m grabbing…” she paused the word stuck in her throat. Could he not see how underdressed she was? Why did he have to make her say it? She took a breath. “I’m cold.”</p>
<p>She vanished in her room, grabbing a shirt from her wardrobe and pulling it on quickly. It was large and meant to be worn beneath at least two other layers but she could hide within it. She returned to the salon, and found the low lying table holding two warm mugs of caf. She grabbed a cup from the tray and sat in a chair across from Organa. She took a sip. It was warm and comforting after standing outside on the cold balcony. </p>
<p>“Do you enjoy it?” Ben asked. She looked up from her cup. </p>
<p>“What?” </p>
<p>“Being a Jedi.” </p>
<p>“I’m not a Jedi yet.” </p>
<p>“You know what I mean,” he said, sitting forward. “The temple, the rules, is it not… stifling?” </p>
<p>“No, I do not find it so.” </p>
<p>He had concern etched on his face as she spoke. He sighed and continued, setting his caf aside. </p>
<p>“Rey, do you not miss your family?” he asked. Her fingers tightened around her cup. </p>
<p>“I have no family to miss.” </p>
<p>“I’m sorry to hear that,” Ben said, backing down from his questioning. </p>
<p>“It’s okay. I suppose it is easier for me than others. I am only gaining mentors and friends; others are losing parents and siblings.” </p>
<p>“And you’re happy with just mentors and friends?” he asked. </p>
<p>“It’s all I ever known,” she said wondering where he was going. Why wouldn’t she happy? She was training with the Jedi, she got to study with the greatest minds about the mysteries of the Force. </p>
<p>“But don’t you ever want more?” Ben wore a strange look on his face, one that she did not completely understand. </p>
<p>“More what?” </p>
<p>“Family—a lover.” The pieces slipped together in her mind. The way he looked at her, the way his hands moved about as he spoke. He was not speaking of the limitations of Rey’s position but of his own. </p>
<p>“Why do you feel so strongly about what I am allowed to do?” she asked calmly. He paused. She could see him chewing on the inside of his cheek as he thought through his answer. His leg bobbing up and down and rattling his caf mug on the table.</p>
<p>Finally, he spoke. </p>
<p>“I… I once trained in the Jedi temple,” he said slowly. Rey opened her mouth to speak but he put his hand up, asking for more time. Senator Ben Organa, the leader of anti-Jedi sentiment, the man who planted to notion of the Jedi as being power hungry ladder climbing in the minds of the galaxy, had trained in the temple? Under the same roof she had? “My family has a complicated history with the Jedi, but ever since I was young I’ve always been… strong with the Force.” </p>
<p>Rey nodded along. The tug she felt towards him, the emotions that burst inside of her own head, it all made sense coming from a Force sensitive individual. </p>
<p>“So, they let me train,” he said. “With my uncle.” </p>
<p>“Uncle?” </p>
<p>“Luke.” </p>
<p>Rey blinked. </p>
<p>“What? </p>
<p>“Luke is my mother’s brother by blood. They were… raised apart. He grew into a Jedi and her into a senator. When they discovered their relationship, my mother wanted to be close to him, to share her life with the sibling she never had. But Luke… Luke was a Jedi. He wasn’t supposed to have attachments especially not new ones to a long-lost sister,” Ben stood up, pacing around the salon, hugging his robe closer around him as he spoke. “However, he saw me. Young and bold and stupid. He could feel the Force in me. Mother… she wanted to give me a large happy family with my dad gone doing… whatever he does nowadays.” </p>
<p>“So, I trained with him. I dedicated my life to the Jedi code—I grew out the little padawan braid,” Ben said, tugging at a lock of his hair. Rey was grateful that her own was tucked away in her hair, suddenly embarrassed of it. “But I missed my mother, and my family. I missed my grandparents on Alderaan, and my friends. I was strong but… emotional.” </p>
<p>The words hit her like a slap. Luke had said the same thing to her, many times in fact. </p>
<p>“I did a little digging in the library and find out—Luke and mother’s parents... they’re a disgrace. A Nabooian Senator and a <i>Jedi</i>. My own blood was a Jedi overcome with emotion and feeling and desire,” his voice grew louder as if he was acting it all out again. “I took it to Luke and I shoved it in his face. His own father- a great warrior but also a lover. A person. He didn’t like it, obviously. I was rocking the boat. But I just can’t get over how mother and Luke and me—we wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for a Jedi who dared to love.” </p>
<p>He stopped, his face flush from emotion. </p>
<p>“So, you think Jedis should have families?” Rey asked. </p>
<p>“I think they are people and, like people, they should be allowed to feel,” Ben said, crossing the room to kneel beside her chair. He grabbed her hand, his skin warm against hers. His fingers enveloped her own, and she couldn’t help but notice how small her hand was in comparison. “You feel, Rey, I know you do. Do you like pushing it aside? Do you enjoy feeling nothing but peace and serenity?” </p>
<p>“I don’t only feel peace. I feel conflict and pain and anger, but I control it,” she said, picking her words carefully. </p>
<p>“We are meant to feel those to the fullest. To scream when we’re angry and cry when we’re sad,” Ben said, his hand squeezing hers. </p>
<p>“Just because the way of life was not for you does not mean it is not right for me,” Rey said, pulling her hand from his. And yet once her fingers were freed they felt cold and she wanted nothing more than to have them back against his skin. He pulled back, his hands disappearing into the pockets of his robe. </p>
<p>“I apologize… I shouldn’t…” He began stammering. Rey set down her caf and stood up. </p>
<p>“It’s alright Senator, I understand,” she said with a nod. “I’m going back to bed and I think you should as well.” </p>
<p>He agreed and they returned to their respective rooms. Rey slipped back under the covers but as her head hit the pillow all she could think about was the heat of Ben Organa’s hand on hers and the way “lover” had dripped from his lips.</p><hr/>
<p>The following weeks were less than thrilling. There were more dinners with Queen Leia, more caf before bed, a day spent entirely on fixing the Senator’s bedroom door, but no trouble. Not that Rey was looking for it, but after being ready for danger for so long playful conversation seemed unnerving. The Queen and her son both walked through the halls of the palace without a care and Rey wished she could do the same. Everything was quiet, her charge was safe and yet she couldn’t calm herself. Even when she’d catch herself laughing at one of his jokes it felt like she was distracted from her purpose. But what was her purpose? If there was no one to fight why was she there? Her purpose became: follow Ben Organa around.</p>
<p> He spent a lot of the time cooped up in a library. Rey sat in the window seat looking at the mountains outside. They were like the buildings in Coruscant but made of earth. She knew of mountains but to actually see them, with her own eyes, was strangely humbling. A planet reaching through its skin to poke these great forms into being. </p>
<p>He often talked while he worked. Asking about her training, how soon she would attempt her trials. She was old enough to, it was only a matter of time now. Master Luke had to suggest her for it, but he thought she was still too emotional, something she divulged to the Senator. He said emotions were human. </p>
<p>Wasn’t controlling them human as well?</p>
<p>When they weren’t talking about the Jedi they were talking about themselves. The scar on Rey’s wrist from a rat biting her when she was small. The very specific spattering of moles on Ben’s cheek that resembled the Kuna constellation. Rey’s preference for warm weather, Ben’s tendency to keep all his rooms and ships unbearably cold, and their both general dislike for Coruscant as a planet. </p>
<p>However the conversations would eventually end as another Senator would message him asking a question or inquiring about some legislation. On rare occasions it was Senator Tico who came through on the holoprojector. Rey would hover over Ben’s shoulder chatting with her and pushing all Galactic issue aside for a few minutes. Most of the time, however, it was not Senator Tico. It was some older alien speaking in a tongue she did not know and Rey would wander away from his desk back to her window perch. She started taking her travel robes with her, bundling up beside the glass as the thermostat was kept well below comfortable for someone from Jakku. </p>
<p>He must have noticed her moping by the window because he started wandering the grounds more, taking his books and datapad to the gardens where she was able to feel the sun on her face the waxy leaves of vines in her hands. Wine was one of Alderaan’s largest exports and it was clear in every free spot of soil. Vineyards scattered the valley, heavy emerald green grapes hanging along the trellises. Rey walked down a row, her fingers grazing the green life. Jakku had been sandy brown, Coruscant cold and chrome, but Alderaan was lush and green. Beautiful. </p>
<p>“They’re good straight from the vine too,” Ben said from behind her. She jumped, so focused on the thrumming life of the plants that she didn’t feel him approaching in the force. She followed his gaze to the grapes. He plucked one off the vine and popped it in his mouth. “Go ahead, take one.” </p>
<p>Rey hesitated, looking at the juicy fruit. This was the royal vineyard and she was sure they didn’t want grubby padawan hands on their money-making wine. </p>
<p>“I don’t want to offend any—,” she said, her fingers locked together. </p>
<p>“You’ll only offend me if you don’t take one,” Ben said. She leaned forward but paused, unsure. “Close your eyes.” </p>
<p>“Huh?” </p>
<p>“Just close your eyes.” </p>
<p>After a lingering look at Senator Organa Rey closed her eyes. The heat on her cheeks was wonderful and could have lulled her to sleep on her feet. She heard the ruffle of the vines beside her and then the warmth of fingers on her chin. The delicate skin of the grape pressed against her lips and she parted them, taking it between her teeth. She bit into it, the delicious juice filling her mouth. </p>
<p>“Mmmmm,” she moaned as the juice ran down her throat. She slowly opened her eyes and found the Senator dangerously close. His hand still lingered on her chin, his face inches from her own. </p>
<p>“You liked it?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. </p>
<p>“Very much so,” Rey said, her cheeks growing warm but not from the sun. Ben ran his thumb below her lip, wiping away juice that had escaped her lips. Her gaze fell to his mouth, his lips slightly parted. </p>
<p>Her heart jumped into her throat. </p>
<p>“I’m glad,” he said before dropping her chin and left down the row back to his work. Rey stood silent among the vines taking in deep breaths to calm her marching heart. </p>
<p>She did not feel peace, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to. Not right now.</p><hr/>
<p>That night she sat up in bed, the covers abandoned on the floor and still dressed in her day clothes. She sat with her legs crossed and her eyes closed, focusing on the force, on her emotions bursting through her like the mountains of Alderaan. </p>
<p>Master Luke would not want her to give into such thoughts so she must rid herself of them. And yet just as she felt serenity in reach, she would feel his thumb on her lips and juice bursting in her mouth. Late into the night she gave up, retreating in the salon for something to read or a painting to look at—anything to fill her mind with something other than the Senator. Her first week in Alderaan the man had been a passing thought but now after months at his side she was thinking more about him than anything else. And not in the way she should. She wasn’t thinking about security anymore but of his laugh, how warm and loud it was. It always felt well earned when she was graced with one. Master Luke had never been one for conversation, or laughter, and now her days were filled with it. </p>
<p>Instead of thinking of her mission she could only think about how sad she would be when it ended.</p>
<p>Yet just as she laid down on the couch and focused hazel eyes on a portrait of a woman in long blue robes across the room, Ben’s door swung open. He stood in the doorway not foggy from sleep but frustrated and tired from lack of it. </p>
<p>“Can’t sleep?” she asked, sitting up on the couch slightly ashamed to be found with her feet on the nicest furniture she’d ever been on. </p>
<p>“No,” he said, crossing as if to call for coffee but stopping by the couch instead. “Rey, can I ask you something?” </p>
<p>“Of course, Senator.” </p>
<p>“Actually, before my question, can you call me Ben?” he asked. </p>
<p>“Yes… Ben,” she said. Rey had thought the name many times, but it felt new on her tongue. New, but fitting. </p>
<p>“Do you… want things?” he asked, his face scrunched up as if he couldn’t quite find the words. </p>
<p>“Everybody wants things,” she said, confused. </p>
<p>“But you, a Jedi, do you—”</p>
<p>“Padawan.” </p>
<p>“Apologies,” he said, fiddling with a ring on his finger. It was made of silver, like a lot of jewelry in Alderaan Rey had seen. He twisted it around his middle finger, a crease forming in the middle of his brow. “Let me try again.” </p>
<p>He sat beside her, staring at the fireplace in front of them kept burning by an unseen mechanism. It cast a warm glow across his pale face. Warm like Jakku sunrises. The thought frightened her. Comparing her charge to her homeplanet in such a personal way, it was the complete opposite of how she should think about either of them. Jakku was were she was from. Ben was who she was protecting. She wouldn’t be wasting time comparing the two, or enjoying the comparison. </p>
<p>And she certainly shouldn’t be feeling the anxious need to inch closure to him.</p>
<p>“If you were hungry and the Jedi told you not to eat, would you?” he asked, his eyes focused on the flames. Rey was surprised, she had never considered such a question.</p>
<p>“Why would they forbid eating?” she asked. </p>
<p>“Hypothetically,” he said, his hands jerking as he talked as if he could paint his thoughts out with his fingertips. “They ask you to starve, not for any particular reason but because it was the Jedi code. Would you do it?” </p>
<p>She shook her head, trying to figure out where he was leading her. </p>
<p>“I would die if I didn’t eat,” Rey said. He turned to her, his eyes wide and wild. </p>
<p>“What about love? Could you live without it?” he asked, his eyes burning into hers.</p>
<p>“Love?” she echoed. She hardly knew the meaning of the word, much less if she could live without it. </p>
<p>“Love, passion, desire,” he reached out, a hesitant hand lying on top of hers between them. “Could you live without touch?” </p>
<p>Rey’s bottom lip hung open; her breath stolen from her lungs. She did not feel calm, she felt warm and… hungry? Uncomplete? There was something inside her calling out, needing something she did not have. She did not pull away from his hand, nor did she turn from his gaze. </p>
<p>“I’ve never lived with it,” she said, her voice weak from the knot lodged in her throat. She was lost in dark eyes that burned her from the inside out. A delicious ache that she wanted to give into. If she were to be lost in the flame of his gaze she’d die content. </p>
<p>His hand moved from hers, his fingertips trailing up her arm and across her collarbone. She shivered under his touch but didn’t pull away. He caressed her cheek and she pressed into the touch, her eyelids threatening to close as if she had drank too much wine at dinner. She hadn’t touched her glass at all, her mind had been too busy to even consider an impediment. She needed to be sharp and yet here she was, the blade of a Jedi dulled by a single touch. </p>
<p>“Would you like to?”</p>
<p>Without thinking of the repercussions, of the pain it would cause her master or all the vows she had promised to uphold, she kissed Senator Ben Organa. His lips were warm and soft under hers, but just as desperate for the connection as hers. She was sloppy and unfamiliar with such intimacy but if he noticed he didn’t seem to care. His arms pulled her close against his chest and she as enveloped in muscle and the scent of Alderaan’s gardens. She pressed further into their kiss and his lips parted for her. She demanded more of his taste, the touch of his hands on her waist—more of him. </p>
<p>Deep down, it frightened her how much she wanted this. As if she’d been wound up for so long and finally was unraveling in a single moment. Yet she couldn’t stop herself—didn’t want to stop herself. Rey had never felt anything in the galaxy like Ben’s kiss, and she doubt she’d ever find it again if she pulled away. Her fingers curled into his shirt wrinkling the nice fabric, closing any distance still between their bodies. </p>
<p>Ben broke their kiss and they both took the second to catch their breath. His cheeks were tinged pink, and his lips were red from her exploration of them. </p>
<p>They crashed together again, her fingers weaving into his hair. His lips drifted from hers, drifting down to kiss every inch of the sensitive flesh of her throat. She shivered under his touch, staring up at the ceiling as his hands pulled at her robes exposing more flesh to be ravaged by his mouth. Rey looked for the shame, for the voice inside of her saying this was wrong and that she was wrong to be doing this. </p>
<p>But there was no voice. There was only the urge for more, the sensation in her body that everything about this was <i>right</i>. </p>
<p>She leaned back against the arm of the sofa and he followed, leaning over her and pressing kisses across the hollow of her throat. Her body was flooded with warmth, her fingers curling against the couch cushions. Ben’s hand slipped beneath her robes, and down her pants. His fingers pressing between her legs at the apex of her heat. She immediately pressed against his hand, her hips bucking up for more friction, more pressure, more Ben.</p>
<p>He was laying sloppy kisses across her cheek as he worked his hand against her. He was panting above her, his whole-body rippling with each moan he elicited from her lips. </p>
<p>“You’re beautiful,” he whispered against her ear, his fingers swirling around the sensitive bundle of nerves. “Rey, you’re…” </p>
<p>Rey arched off the couch, her body trembling as it reached a peak. Except the shock of pleasure running through her didn’t make her want to stop, it made her want more. Rey began pulling at her half-opened robes, her skin too hot to have any layer separating her from Ben. She pulled her vest and undershirt from her shoulders, discarding them on the floor, before hooking her hands in Organa’s shirt. He helped her, trembling fingers joining hers as they fumbled with buttons until he was also bared. </p>
<p>“Come with me,” he said, taking her hand and pulling her up from the couch. She followed, giddy and excited for the first time since she stepped inside the Jedi temple. She had stepped into a sacred place with so much to learn and explore about herself and the force, and now she was doing the same but this time not with a master but with an equal.</p>
<p>And as she laid in the plush sheets of the Prince’s bed she felt him shudder under her touch. He moved inside of her and she cried out, screaming his name so that the whole galaxy knew her crime and her pleasure. She dug her nails in his back, mumbling his name over and over like a mantra. </p>
<p>There is no peace, no serenity, no calm, only Ben.</p><hr/>
<p>Rey had always been quick to rise. No matter where she rested her head the second morning came she was alert and ready for the day. Ready to work, ready to train, ready to be of use. This morning however, her mind is awake but her body lags behind. She’s tangled up in sheets, Ben Organa’s arm under her as a pillow. He’s still asleep and she watches his chest rise and fall with each slow breath. Her body thrums with desire even as her muscles ache from the night before. </p>
<p>She let the word Ben had used the night before roll around her head. Love. Rey thought of love as devotion, as loyalty to a person but now it seemed like so much more. Love is not shackling yourself out of duty but because there is a desire that beats inside your ribs—a need that cannot be ignored. She thought of herself years from now, and found she could not imagine a life without the soothing thrum of Ben Organa in the force close by. </p>
<p>Rey closed her eyes, attuned to his pulse in the force. It enveloped her, beating in time with her heart. Like music. Like a harmony. </p>
<p>Another rhythm busted through their music, a familiar, sharp presence she had felt for the last ten years of her life. </p>
<p>“Oh no,” she shot up in bed, the sheet falling around her waist. She grabbed it, pulling it over her chest as if he could see her nakedness through the Force. </p>
<p>“Wha?” Ben mumbled slowly rising from his stupor. </p>
<p>“Master Luke,” Rey said, yanking the sheet of the bed and searching the floor for her clothes, only half of them were still in the salon. “He’s here, I can feel it. I don’t know why he’s here but he’ll know what I’ve done-he’ll feel it-”</p>
<p>Strong arms wrapped around her, holding her close. Rey rested her head against Ben’s chest, listening to the calm march of his heartbeat. </p>
<p>“Skywalker does not write your destiny,” he said, running a hand through her hair. “Only you do.”</p><hr/>
<p>She paced around the entrance hall. The high ceilings and wide floor were still not large enough to contain her nerves. Rey had dressed quickly, neglecting to pull her hair back from her face. Luke would chide her for it, for a Jedi cannot fight if constantly blinded by their own hair. Rey chewed on her lip, trying to think through her words before he showed up. </p>
<p>He didn’t not give her much time. </p>
<p>“Rey.” His voice filled the room as the attendants pulled the doors closed behind him. It echoed through the room bouncing up the elaborate staircase and ricocheting off the large windows set behind him. There was no other noise, no wind, no fly buzzing. Nothing but Luke’s voice and her own heart thrumming in her ear. </p>
<p>“Master Luke,” she said giving him a customary nod. His jaw shifted, his eyes narrowing at her. He moved towards her, bootsteps reverberating through the empty hall. She could feel him studying her, prodding her soul through the force. They both knew why he was here. She was practically glowing with faults. He could have felt it two systems away. </p>
<p>His eyes snapped to her neck and he reached out tugging on the chain she had slipped on that morning. He pulled it out of her shirt, revealing the silver ring that had been hanging by her heart. </p>
<p>He sighed, dropping it and letting it fall back against her breast. </p>
<p>“You’re convinced?” he asked, meeting her gaze. Rey took a breath, letting the decision wash through her. </p>
<p>“Yes.” </p>
<p>Luke shook his head but said nothing. He held his hand out. Rey paused before pulling her lightsaber from her belt. The weapon had been her identity for so long. The item that let everyone know she was someone important, something worth being alive.  </p>
<p>She pulled her mess of hair back and with the practiced hand of a warrior flicked her sabre on for a brief moment. She held the weapon out along with her seared padawan braid. </p>
<p>But she was strong without a sword, and she was someone without the Jedi. </p>
<p>Luke took them both, storing them in his robes. He looked up at her. His mouth parted to speak but he quickly closed it and turned away leaving her alone in the entrance hall as he returned to Coruscant with the evidence of another turned padawan. </p>
<p>She felt light without her weapon, but she did not miss the tug of her braid on her scalp. Rey ran her fingers through her hair, letting her nails scrape against her skin and weave through her locks. </p>
<p>“You can go after him, you know,” Ben said from the second-floor balcony. He leaned over the banister, looking down at her. “It isn’t too late.” </p>
<p>“If I left, I’d end up back here,” she said, staring at the doors Luke had vanished behind. It was the truth that she felt deep in her soul. That wherever Master Luke had led her next, the thin red thread of fate would have tugged her across the stars back to Alderaan. Back to Ben. She peered up at him, a smile spreading across her lips. “I don’t know if you’re aware, but I’ve formed quite an attachment to you.” </p>
<p>“I hope this attachment isn’t too troubling,” he said a sly smirk as he walked towards the stairs. She followed him, climbing the stairs as he descended meeting him in the middle.</p>
<p>“It’s terribly troubling,” she said, pulling on his fine robes until their lips met. His kiss made her feel as if her whole body were twinkling like Alderaan starlight. She pulled back smiling in his arms. “But I rather like being troubled.”</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>